6 Stages of Emotional Breakdown of Dealing with your Best Friend Moving Away

Friends are a dime a dozen, but a genuine best friend is a rare find. There’s truly no one else in the world who makes you laugh so hard I could cry, and understand you even when you’re making absolutely no sense. It’s amazing how one day someone walks into your life, and then bam you’re best friends.

It wasn’t too long ago that one of my best friends moved out of town and back to her hometown. We were literally friends for just over a month but the man did we get along. With crazy the love for dominos pizza, cha time and Punjabi culture, we became really really close really really quickly; regardless of all the Nazar* ๐Ÿ˜‰ (if you know then you know). But no matter what we knew ‘it was not goodbye, it is just a see you soon’.

The adult (let’s just take a moment to laugh, adult? me haha no.) BFF in me is incredibly proud of her for following her dreams into uncharted territory and putting herself first. Though I admit, there were a lot of emotional stages that came before I could write that sentence. So here they are, the most significant emotional stages I went through when I was coming to terms with the fact that my best friend is moving away:

Stage 1: “That’s Amazing!”

When your best friend comes to you with the good news that she has been accepted into the degree of her dreams, your first instinct is “That’s Amazing!” It is amazing that you have finally going to be able to follow your dreams. It is amazing that you are gonna be closer to home. It is ah-maz-ing!!

Stage 2: Wait, What Does This Actually Mean?

Then you start to ask the questions: Where are you going? For how long? When do you leave? Do you have to go? What will I do without you? Who will I hang out with? Will we be still friends? How is this going to work? Like, I don’t know who I am going to annoy now. Who am I going to study with now? Who am I going to listen to Punjabi music with? And all of a sudden there is only a certain amount of time till you guys can hang out before it is just those random memes on social media.

Stage 3: OK, I’m Going To Visit You

After the first emotional breakdown, you perk up a bit and realize that you get to go visit them. Not only do you get to see your friend, but you get to travel, too. Going to see her is now something to look forward to. Now you are thinking, ok this is not so bad after all. Since that you have had a minute to digest, you start to make plans on what activities can be done when you visit one other in the respectful places.

Stage 4: I’m So Proud Of You

After the second emotional breakdown, you actually realize that your best friend is actually following her dreams. Like, yes you have said this a billion times before but it is legit. She is following her dreams. She is so brave to actually follow her dreams. The more you think about it, the more you are impressed, the more you are inspired, the more you realize you need to get you’re dreams accomplished.

Stage 5: How Much Time Do We Have Left Together?

But back to reality, how much time do you have left together? With minimal time on hand, you might feel anxious. This anxiousness will help have of both you to stay in the present and make the most of every moment you have. You start making plans on things to do before there is no more time left.

Stage 6: Ain’t Nothing Going To Keep Us Apart

Even though she is overseas at the moment, when she comes back from her overseas trip she will be just about 800 kilometers away (thank you, Google Baba ๐Ÿ˜Ž ). If I put it that way, it is quite silly of me to overthinking the whole situation. But let’s be real, I am pretty silly so yeah… Nothing has changed between us; just that our conversation consists of 90% memes and 10% random desi stuff. Our friendship is rock solid.

Stage 7: Accha chalta hoon, duaaon mein yaad rakhna

The dominos and cha time trips are not the same. Expect the same rants about Zoya crying, about nazar, about how people are so loud in the library, about how my skin is breaking out and I dont know why and about how I am craving chocolate. We have become so close that it’s gonna be weird without the rasmalai to my pistachios ๐Ÿ˜‰, without the hot chocolate to my mocha ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‚ (nain nain nazar lagi ๐Ÿ˜Ž), without the translator to my every song in my playlist, without the content to my snapchat story, without the masala to my soda and more importantly without the bestie to my life. From running around the library laughing to running to dominos or cha time while listening to Punjabi songs. From studying and then getting nazar to procrastinating while still getting nazar.

All the best in your new endeavours ๐Ÿ˜‚.

Translation of the Hindi used:

  • Nazar = Look, eye. However, it can also be used for evil eye. Ughh, just Google it.
  • “Accha chalta hoon, duaaon mein yaad rakhna” = “So, I am leaving. Remember me in your prayers.”
    • This is from a song called Channa Mereya from the movie Ae Dil Hai Mushkil.
  • Rasmalai is an Indian sweet dish that is basically small, flat cakes of cheese in sweetened and thickened milk. Often topped with pistachios.
  • “Nain nain nazar lagi” = “No no, might get evil eye”

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As always, thank you for being the Samosauce to my Garam Samosa!!!


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