“Cutting toxic people out of your life is not a sign of selfishness. It’s a sign of self-respect.”
I am exactly one month into my second year at university and I have noticed so many things with the changes that I have embraced over my summer holidays. Ever since I realised that each day I am becoming more and more introverted, I have let a lot of toxic people in my life go; with open arms and a thali full of Prasad and some Chandan for a mang tikka. On top of that for some, I managed to offer a garland. I have cut out a lot of people and thought why not do I some public service and share the 5 types of people that I, you and everyone does not need in their life.
It is important to surround yourself with people that encourage, understand and most importantly are healthy for you. Our peers impact us quite a lot. They help with determining whether a situation should be seen as good or bad with their opinions. And believe it or not, and no matter how much you deny it, someone else’s opinion does actually matter because their opinion can alter the way we think about ourselves and the way we think as a whole.
Everyone deserves happiness, inner peace, and love. Therefore being part of the wrong crowd or an ill-fitting crowd can do quite a lot of damage to you, your well-being and your life. So here are 5 people who I have cut out and I can honestly say that I am so damn glad that I have.
1 – The Energy Drainer
At one stage in our lives, we have met someone who is just too much. Takes up too much energy to be around. Whether you have to be careful about what you say or you just have to go out of your way to please them. Majority of the time the things that they say are not good or nice. Oh and, no matter what you do there is something wrong. This causes drama that won’t end. On top of that, even when they are in fault they will find some reason to make it your fault. Pushing you to the edge to either do something that actually requires you to apologise or both of you just ignore the situation and either part ways or just don’t talk about it.
2 – Someone with No Morals
You don’t need anyone in your life that steals from you, is way too good of a liar or something along those lines. You must be thinking “obviously” but these people are actually really hard to spot. Whether they only talk to you for help at university or a project or they say they are not available because they have to study all day or have work while going to out for lunch and posting all the photos on social media. The worst thing is that when you confront them about it, they will deny it, you will either have to argue about it or simple apologize for accusing them of something they ‘didn’t do’.
3 – The “I know better than you” or “I am better at it” type
When people sense that you are struggling with something or it takes you longer to do something that they can do easily, the majority of them will try to help you. However, don’t be fooled. There are a bunch of them that do this to put you down. They will make you feel stupid, make you more stressed and/or depressed about it and even make the situation seem a lot harder than it actually is. They would also put salt in the wound by judging you for being you and the fact that you may or may not have to put a little extra effort. These people also won’t celebrate your achievements and excitements they expect you to do when it comes to theirs. There is a fine line between helping and making the situation worse.
4 – The Awkward-Situation-Maker…
These are the people who put you in awkward situations. Whether it is boasting about how much work they have done, or their achievements. Whether it is saying the wrong thing at the wrong time to the wrong person. Oh my god, talking about this type of person makes me feel uncomfortable. If you are constantly in a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable or awkward, cut them out period
5 – The I ‘Support’ you Type
No matter who it is, if they don’t support you the way you support them the relationship is not equal. Either talk about it to solve the issue or simply cut them. Relationships, no matter what kind, are a 2-way street.
Cutting toxic people out of your life can be painful, but things will get better a lot faster than you think. Suddenly, you’ll be able to breathe without feeling the anxiety building up in your chest. You won’t feel like you have to censor yourself. You’ll be free to do and be whatever you want. Remember that when you remove a toxic person from your life, you’re just making room for a better person to come along. Everyone deserves and needs encouraging, understanding and most importantly are healthy relationships; no matter the kind.
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As always, thank you for being the Samosauce to my Garam Samosa!!!